Tuesday 1 January 2019

Goodbye 2018 & Hello 2019

I hate the whole "New Year, New Me" saying, because for most people its just living in the moment during the month of January, and then it goes away.2018 was probably one of the most anxiety challenging years that I've ever had in my life (along those dreaded GCSE exams in my teenage years).I was thrown into a new therapy plan, facing my anxiety head on, a relationship breaking down, health complications that could of killed me and moving out for the first time to name a few.I had to take a few steps back (4months in fact) until I was ready and happy to start blogging again.

This year instead of doing the whole "New Year. New Me" strategy that most people like to do, I've made a promise to myself that I'm going to improve myself further as a person and push myself even more.Last year I made the spontaneous decision to enrol for a Legal Secretary course, and although the course was quite difficult, I passed with a score over 90%.2months during that course, I found out that I was accepted for a property which I applied for and had 3weeks (yep just 3weeks) to pack my stuff up, find £1000+ for fees, removals,travel, and to pass this course.I wasn't even planning on moving out until this year, but I was lucky enough to have the best support and service from the estate agents, which helped me get this apartment.They knew how much I wanted it and that I was very serious about it, so they worked their magic for me to get this place.But onto my plans for the year...
This was a pretty tough lesson to learn, which you're probably sat there scratching your head in confusion on "how on earth is it difficult to relax?".One anxiety and two, I would always take on everyone else's problems instead of my own and leave mine to build up.I have a knack of caring for people too much, which can be seen as a good trait and a bad one.Leaving this overtime can add so much stress, which for me is a massive trigger for my anxiety.I've now learnt how to cope with my anxiety a lot better (3 panic attacks last year!) and to separate everyone else's problems from my own.
It took me a while to get used to it and to not feel guilty, but its achievable.I usually spend a lot of my time playing video games to calm down, but its always been something that I enjoy anyway.On my bad days (or sometimes lazy), I will get myself a sweet treat, wrap myself under a heated blanket and have a Netflix binge. 
Say Goodbye To Toxic People
*Sigh* I had to insert a hot gif at some point on this post and of course I pick Damon since a lot of us have had a crush or an attraction to him at some point and he's also a little bit of a menace too.I've made the mistake in the past thinking toxic and negative people are the same, and it took me a while to remove those in my life that were hurting me more than doing good.Sometimes those around you such as friends and family, may make negative comments when in fact it could be for the best.Maybe you're in a relationship with someone thats cheated numerous times for example, and your friends don't like him because its making you unhappy.You also leave them to pick up the pieces every time, which you shouldn't see as a burden, but its still painful for everybody that loves you.They want the best for you and although I'm someone who never listens to other peoples opinions on my relationship as its my business, but if you cheat on me?
You are GONE!

Toxic people all want the same goal, whether thats you being unhappy, dragging them down to their level or both.I've had a mixture of both and believe me, its mentally draining.You start questioning yourself when it comes to your goals, who you are and start believing that you as a person aren't good enough.It can seriously impact your mood which can result in destroying relationships with others around you.Once you start eliminating these type of people, you'll start to notice that your mood has improved a lot and you don't find yourself worrying as much on what others think of you.
If Love Comes Along, Don't Run In The Opposite Direction

Urgh the dreaded word "love".This one is really personal to me and to be honest, I'm still not really that 100% comfortable with it.I haven't been exactly lucky when it comes to relationships, as I've been cheated on, been in a controlling relationship, and being emotionally hurt.I don't go into new relationships worrying about those, because I've learnt that no matter how happy you may make that person you love, you change them or stop someone from cheating.

I'm also really picky on who I let into my life and being that close, especially since I'd rather be with someone that I really click with on a chemistry level, than just settle for someone that I just "get along with".Its also an opening window of getting to know the person better as well, because the amount of times I've talked to someone that either turns out to be a complete fuckboy or I learn that they sweet talk to numerous girls at one time is a complete TURN OFF!Eventually after talking to someone for a while they start to show their true colours and intentions with you.It happens way too many times (even the ones that look completely innocent), but no one has been able to outdo me when it comes to patience.

I'm always upfront (probably too much at times) on what I want, but its better to know what that person may want too because if you don't share that same goal, it could make the relationship difficult.
More Curly Hair Products Reviews
I know, I've been seriously slacking when it comes to writing up reviews on products for curly hair.The main two reasons because of this, is that my hair needed a break and people in the curly hair community want you to work for "free".When I first started out my blog, I used to spend my pocket money on products and write up my reviews on them.I still do this at times, but since its actually become my job and is very time consuming, people think that its ok for me to work for free.I've really only had this with brands that create products for curly and afro hair types that don't really have a message behind them, which shows that they don't care really.My hair also needed a break for trying all of the products that were being sent to me, as it started to take its toll on my hair by having too much protein.I couldn't accept a collaboration with a brand that wanted me to test protein based hair products, because the results would make my hair more brittle, and the review wouldn't be positive or fair. I already have some brands lined up for the year already which I'm super excited about and I just cannot wait to share the results.I'm also open to taking requests on products that you want me to try out and to give my thoughts on them.

This is probably not even close to what my goals are going to be this year and knowing me I'll add more to this post, but I honestly cannot wait to see what 2019 has in store :)

1 comment:

  1. I came upon your blog some months ago and it's good to see you're back at it. I just have to say I am thoroughly impressed with the content and consistency of your blog. Very well done. I love the fact of you making the decision to just better yourself as a person. I think that's the best thing a person can do to contribute to the rest of the world. I'm sure you know that you will reap amazing benefits from this kind of self-improvement focus. Also, toxic people definitely have to go! There's nothing worse than a constant energy vampire or low vibrational person constantly tugging at your aura. I find that the more I better myself lately, the less I am encountering and having to deal with toxic people. They're still around but it seems like as i'm mastering self I am not as subject to their influence or something. But when it comes to love.... I appreciated reading your perspective on it. I feel like it could be tough to embrace true love because of fear or not being able to recognize it if we don't proper love ourselves. From what i've learned, expressing and feeling true love seems to be the highest form of expression and existence anyone can experience. I'm actually working on a book on love where I go into detail about the many aspects of this concept. Although I, like many of us, have been hurt by the disappointment of failed relationships of the past, I think being a libra makes me some kind of hopeless romantic, so I reluctantly but ultimately agree that if love comes not to run in the opposite direction... but the fear of having one's heart broken can be a worthy opponent of love, and sometimes it just seems like a lofty fantasy. Even still, I know true love is real.