Sunday, 3 July 2016

Dealing with social media bullies

I was really questioning whether or not to post this, let alone write it as the last few months have been mental.With social media being at our fingertips, it makes it easier for bullies to target people online.I've had my fair share of bullying throughout school and work environments, so getting attacked on a platform outside is just as devastating.I started my blog a few years back, starting very small and not known to that many people in the social media world.Call me sad, but I remember how happy I was when I got 100 followers, and back then I would post pictures of hair products, food and my cats(like why would you follow a crazy cat lady?).As my followers count grew (currently at 18.6K on Instagram) so did the trolls/cyberbullies.
The cyberbullying increased once I began talking more about body image.I was picked on mainly during school about my body, leading me to believe that I was fat and that my boobs at that age (36G) was wrong.It took me a very longtime for me to accept my body and understand that people are always going to judge you no matter what body size or shape you are.Because of this lesson, I wanted to help others that are going through the same thing, whilst also helping them find suitable and helpful lingerie, as a lot of brands don't cater for the DD+ sizes.This of course has attracted a lot of criticism, even those that were so called "friends" that didn't really agree with the point I was trying to get across.This included a mixture of comments, with the majority of them being positive, but also included the negatives too.
Most people would target that I'm too skinny and that I (as I quote from a recent troll ) "make myself skinny to be beautiful".I call this person a troll, because not only have they been someone recent that has been stalking/targeting me on my social media channels and work email, they've also been attacking blogger Jayde Pierce, who I originally stuck up for, before as this troll turned on me.As some people may look at social media (which I do to some extent) " don't feed the trolls" or "just ignore what you read online".I never get myself into negative arguments on social media, because you're giving that person the attention they crave and in someways, this post will be viewed the same I've basically wrote about them in this post.I've admired Jayde Pierce for a long time, way even more she got famous and I was that follower in my own bubble, too scared to comment on her posts on how beautiful she is.I look up to her (despite me being 3years older) and in someways can relate to things that she shares.This person annoyed me with the way they were targeting Jayde on all of her social media platforms, and because I shared info of a nasty post that Jayde wasn't aware of (publicly to her may I just add), I got targeted.Sure, I could of sent it to Jayde in a private message, but I felt out of place to be in her private messages, because she doesn't know me and felt like I'd be annoying if I did, but still thought it was best to let her know that this person had returned.Do I regret putting myself in a position of getting abused?Of course not.I felt and still feel I did the right thing, and would do it again, even if that meant people coming at me left, right and centre with nasty comments.
This person/troll I mentioned in the last paragraph is just an example of the extent that cyberbullies/trolls can go to, targeting all of your social media platforms and leaving nasty abusive comments.It used to upset me a lot, being told that I'm fat, ugly, disgusting etc but now it just doesn't bother me and sometimes I end up feeling sorry for that person.What do these people get out of being nasty to others?Do they feel better because of there own insecurities or are they just so damn nasty anyway?I can see why they would target Jayde because she's gorgeous, very likeable and has one of the most bubbliest personalities that comes across in her pictures/videos, so she must even be more lovely in person.I can openly admit that I'm jealous of Jayde, but in a positive way.Look at that smile though and those eyebrows!Perfection right there!.This still sets some people off thinking its ok to be nasty though and even sometimes join in with others to bring people down.
The best way that I've learnt to deal with it, is to either just ignore them entirely or sometimes challenge them as of why they're leaving these nasty comments.9/10 they either don't respond or they give some lame ass excuse to why they seem the need to be nasty.I leave most of the accounts I get nasty things from unblocked, because they need to know that there comments don't bother me and they will eventually get bored.There is at least one person, that isn't going to like what you do and is just waiting for that one moment for you to mess up (in their eyes)  and attack you.You don't need that negativity trying to burst your bubble.Remember to focus your mind on all the positives you have, which I know can be hard straight away but it gets easier.Writing them down helps and you can look back to see how much you've achieved and that you ARE appreciated.I really hope this post helps you and if you have any questions or want any advice, please don't hesitate to email me via the contact page :)

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