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Sunday, 13 December 2015

My Model Experience

Every aspiring model wants to hear the words "We'd love to have you" or "Congratulations, you've been accepted to be represented by us".With society's standards being ridiculously high, its putting a lot of pressure on girls and boys trying to achieve their dream, affecting them physically and mentally.I wanted to share my story after reading a similar experience by Elizabeth Holland which you can find here.

I've wanted to be a model for ages, purely because at the time their wasn't many mixed/black models about, and I wanted to represent this in a positive way.Their were two agencies I decided to apply for through their website and are very well known too.The first one I applied for I sent off my headshot photo's, and got a response that they think I have a great modelling face and requested to see some body shots and more measurements.Taking some more photo's and the help from my mum to measure my body, I sent them off excited and nervous.After waiting a few hours for a reply, they finally contacted me to tell me that they didn't believe that was my dress size that I provided, that I was at least a size 14-16 and suggested that I should either lose weight or apply for their Plus Size models.Being a size 8-12 (due to my 34E cup at the time) this left me very upset, because in my mind I felt like I was fat.This caused me to constantly watch my weight and also watch what I'd eat.Losing just over  stone, with my bra size reduced also, I applied again with the same agency, except this time I was rejected all together.Again this left me feeling very low of myself because although I worked my way to lose weight in an attempt to get scouted by them it still wasn't good enough.

About a month later, I decided to apply with a different agency, this one also very known here in the UK.Again I sent off all my measurements and images to them hoping I would be signed.They rang the next day which unfortunately I missed the call due to being in college with a voicemail asking for me to call them back as they wanted to discuss my application.This of course got me excited because I had a mindset of if I wasn't successful they would of mentioned it in the voicemail surely?.I rang them next morning to see what they wanted to discuss to be told by the lady: "You have to at least have green or blue eyes to stand out as your mixed and as you have neither its a no".I understand that you need to have certain features to be taken on by an agency, but being told it was because of my eye colour and that I was mixed race affected my self esteem even more.This left me not liking anything about myself for ages and acted negative every time someone left me a compliment.

(Before people that don't know me and think my intentions were "I should be a model!" that is not the way I'm thinking of it at all. I understand that you need to have a certain look, personality and be photogenic to secure a place within an agency, however my point of this post was to point out something has a negative affect on you physically and mentally, especially if your being told this at such a young age.)

Since then a lot has happened, changed and remains the same.I've been involved in a fashion show and also some other model/blog related activities. I decided to start up my own blog to encourage others to love their natural hair and to also chase their dreams no matter how many times there knocked down.I also decided to blog, as the modelling world was just too bitchy, drama and chaotic for me, and didn't need that kind of negativity going on, especially when its coming from the agencies themselves.This gives me the freedom to be able to choose who I work with interacting with businesses and readers too, because I love helping others and meeting new people.My mindset on the way I see myself still is pretty much the same.If someone finds me attractive or compliments me I politely thank them, instead of going into complete denial and writing a huge list to them as of why, I keep it to myself.

How do I view my body now?I'm pretty much comfortable with it, although it can be a complete pain to find clothes that fit and suit my body shape, but I'm getting there.I hope this post helps someone that has been told/or feels like they're not good enough.Don't damage your health because its not worth it.

I'm here to talk about this subject or any other issues you maybe having.My contact email is: xshanisemorgan@gmail.com Please note that the closing period for replying to emails for Christmas is 21st December until the 28th December.Here is a link to my body shaming post if you have been body shamed via social media or worry about your own body image and how people view you




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